Three Goals Thursday #5

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I am going to be doing my three goals Thursday’s every other week so I can give myself time to accomplish them.

Last week’s goals:

✔️       Goal #: Get homework done.

✔️       Goal #2: Get homework done.

✘        Goal #3: Make business plan for Etsy and spend time writing.

This week’s goals:

Goal #1: Work on my anger.

How will I move towards this?  . . . Implement the things I’ve learned no matter what!

Goal #2: FINISH MY HOMEWORK!

Goal #3: Make a To-Do List.

How will I move towards this?  . . . Make a to-do list that includes getting Marylin (my niece) a birthday gift, make Summer reading list, and others.


Let’s see how this week goes. Please join me on this (every other) weekly goal list by making your own three weekly goals!

Just a Blurb

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A blurb is, “a short description of a book, movie, or other product written for promotional purposes and appearing on the cover of a book or in an advertisement.” This is just a blurb for a story I haven’t created… yet. It was for a project “My Bookish Life” created. I know it could use some work, but I hope you enjoy reading it. 


The woods can be an unfriendly place. There was a legend that these trees can call you in and take you captive. Perlos belonged to these woods but she was not captive. She has grown with these woods. She has run with the wolves, spoken to the bears,  bathed with the otters, and whispered to the dragonflies. But at night she must go back to her tree. The tree she becomes one with. Her home.

After generations of tranquil isolation, there came a change in the wind. Something shifted in the Earth. Perlos’ tree cracked. A man was found floating in the river; a foreign substance in the body of these woods. And when he awoke, she fell asleep.

 

10 Movies That Inspire Me: List Day

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If you know me, you know movies are my true love. They impact me like nothing else. They affect my thoughts, dreams, pursuits, passions. There is nothing like a movie that inspires me, spark a creative flame in me. This list is dear to my heart. This is in no particular order, but the ones with stars are my favorites of the list.

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1.) How I Live Now*

How I Live Now has been one of my favorite movies for almost three years now. It is set in England and slowly works it’s way to be in a complete war zone. Not a real war that has happened but one that could.

I have a thing for well done subplots. This movie doesn’t overwhelm with multiple stories going on. It gets my creative juices flowing. It has a complex female lead that truly leads this movie.

2.) Daydream Nation*

This movie. If you don’t like movies that have lots of drugs then this isn’t the movie for you. Usually I’d steer away from these types of movies but this woman! This woman stole my heart. She is so passionate and intriguing. She is lost but knows who she is. I don’t know, man. You got to watch this movie.

3.) The Parent Trap (the new one)

This has been my comfort movie and childhood inspiration since I was a tiny 4 year old.

4.) Coraline

5.) About Time

6.) Mona Lisa Smile

This is one of my favorite movies. It gives me inspiration to be a strong, educated woman and to follow where ever I would like to go in life.

7.) Inkheart***

Of all of these, Inkheart, truly inspires me the most. I’ve always been a book worm, so this movie spoke to me. It made my mind wander and wander. I recommend this to everyone!

8.) The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

9.) Spiderwick Chronicles

Fairies, invisible creatures, powerful goblins, and so much more is written down in this journal. The beings of fantasy are the most beautiful and awe-inspiring things literature has to offer and this movie portrays them perfectly.

10.) Ratatouille

My Anxiety and Need for Control

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Whenever I start writing this post, I get to a dead end and walk away from it. I have written it all the way through multiple times, but I need to write it through and let it go. I apologize in advance for anything that may sound jumpy and rambley.

Hello, I’m anxious. Nice to meet you. I always wonder if it make life any more beneficial if we knew everyone’s deep emotional/mental struggles. I’m not sure. But here I am, talking to strangers about being controlling and having anxiety.

Learning about yourself, I believe, is important and essential to growth as a human being. The last couple months I have learned more about myself than I have my entire life. I came to terms with the fact I have anxiety a long time ago. The recent journey, though, was to try and see where that lets out and why that is.

I have a deep rooted need for control. This has come out in flames an innumerable amount of times in my relationship. I link that back to my dad and the “abandonment issues” associated with him. Although, I do not place responsibility of my actions on anyone but myself.

I enjoy knowing what is going to happen and having a handle on what is going to happen. Once things get out of my hands and I lose control, I need to find security or control somewhere. Anywhere. Or I try to force the control back into my hands.

Maybe I should go back to the beginning, or sometime when anxiety first became a larger aspect in my life. It was about two years ago when I had my first panic attack. I was fifteen and it was right when I first cut myself. I was on the phone with my boyfriend at the time. When it happened, I dropped my phone because I was shaking profusely and hyperventilating.

Since then, panic attacks mainly come when I feel overwhelmed with social situations or when I feel helpless. I always find myself shaky, having paranoia, being fidgety and restless, having an irregular heart beat, and obviously having anxiety randomly, many times without a real reason.

This is so hard to admit. I have let this issue hurt myself and others. I have tried to control people’s emotions and actions. I’ve become manipulative without even realizing it. I forget that people have their own needs and lives they want to have control over. I don’t know how to let go of some of this need for control.

I’m afraid, I suppose. That if I let anyone have control of the situation around me, it will hurt me. My head is telling me, “So what if someone hurts you? That is part of life.” But I just want minimal damage.

I don’t want to feel those negative feelings again. I don’t want to be abandoned or controlled or taken advantage of or hurt. I want to be vulnerable but I don’t know if I have what it takes to allow my shell to come off and allow people to see what’s inside.

I feel so broken. I needed to release this.

Thank you.

My Favorite Books as a Child: List Day

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I have made a new segment on Sundays called List Day (such a clever name, I know). You can see what the list will be in the title, but a little back story first. A fun fact about me is I have a box of things for my future child/children. I love owning all my favorite books as a child so that I can show my kiddos what I read. This list makes me so happy! Now, here are a few of my favorite books/book series as a child:

1.) Junie B. Jones Series, by Barbara Park

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2.) A Bad Case of Stripes, by David Shannon

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3.) Caps for Sale, by Esphyr Slobodkina

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4.) There Was an Old Lady Series, by Lucille ColandroDSCF8049

5.) Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, by Jodi Barrett

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6.) I Stink!, by Kate and Jim McMullan

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7.) The Girl’s Book of Glamour: A Guide to Being a Goddess, by Sally Jeffrie

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And here are some that I have yet to buy:

8.) Amelia Bedelia Series: Amelia Bedelia and the Surprise Shower, by Peggy Parish516i100ZLpL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_

9.) Harry the Dirty Dog, by Gene Zion

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10.) Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Suess

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A lot of these probably sound familiar, but I hope you found some new ones to check out. Good luck future children, you’re mom is going to make you enjoy reading.

“Yogi: Kava Stress Relief” Tea Review

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May 6-13, 2017

As a person with constant anxiety but a hatred for medications, I have been searching for good natural anxiety relief help. Kava was the first thing I found when I searched natural alternatives. I did a little of research about it and overrall it came off as extremely effective. Once I finished reading the article, instantly, I needed some. So I got my brother to drive me down to Walmart and pick up a box of “Yogi: Kava Stress Relief ” tea. This was just a few hours ago, so I decided to write my first impression and follow up a few days later, drinking a cup a day, and reflect on it.

First Impression: (May 6th)

I usually do not like tea, AT ALL. This tea made my nose tingle with the cinnamon scent. I let it sit for about 8 minutes and added a good amount of honey. It isn’t the best taste but as a human being who does not usually enjoy the taste of tea, I thought it was pleasant.

On to how it made me feel: A little while after drinking it I noticed my senses were sharpened but I felt more relaxed within my mind and body. When I spoke on the phone with my boyfriend, I felt happy and patient and less irritable. Very odd. I will have to continue this to see if it was just the placebo effect.

Notes Throughout the Week:

Day 2: I am currently drinking the tea at 12:13 pm. I made it in a smaller cup today so that it might be stronger. My mind feels slightly numb but it’s nothing to worry about. I realized the familiar smell it has: a Chai tea latte!

Day 3: I am drinking the tea at 10:51 am. I made the tea with two tea bags because it tasted too watered down with one bag. It is helping me think clearer about things. Also, I tried to add creamer… FAIL! I will be sticking to honey.

Day 5: I’ve noticed that cinnamon kind of sits at the bottom, so a tip is to constantly stir it.

Final Thoughts: (May 12th)

I am ending this review at day six because I want to pay attention to my mama tomorrow.

This tea is very yummy and helps my emotional state a bit. I’ve noticed when I drink it, my eyes feel less tired and my mind feels a little more at ease. I think anyone with anxiety should try this and see how it effects you. The only negative aspect is that the last of tea in the cup tend to have a lot of cinnamon. Other than that, I love it!

I really enjoyed analyzing the feelings I get from tea; you should try it too. Thank you for reading! I will be writing about my personal experience with having anxiety soon, so watch out for that!

“Miley Cyrus – Malibu” Reaction

I have now listened to this song close to 20x. I love this song with all of my heart. The feelings that come when I hear this song make tears come to my eyes and goosebumps fill my whole body. It is soft and warm; it breaths in me.

My favorite lyrics from the song are below:

“-sometimes I get so scared of what I can’t understand”

“I never would’ve believed you
If three years ago you told me
I’d be here writing this song”

“We are just like the waves that flow back and forth
Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and you’re there to save me
And I wanna thank you with all of my heart”

The music video scenery was captivating, pure and delicate. Here are some of my favorite moments (also, featuring her dog)

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While listening to this song, I get the feeling that things are going to beautifully work into what it needs to be. I need to be open to myself continuously changing, to be raw and vulnerable. Thank you for this song.